therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
