If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
