Kiss
Puke
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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