The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize