I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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