apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
