Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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