garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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