last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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