I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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