But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize