whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
