Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
