Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
