I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
