mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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