i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
