My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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