i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
