walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
