Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
