I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I believe in your delicious
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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