i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
