i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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