They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
