I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
