He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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