Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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