This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
