so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
