end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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