the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
