Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
