Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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