well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
