this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
