Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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