This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
