You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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