I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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