Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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