so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
