yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
