Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is the high leading the old right now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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