I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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