ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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