Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize