gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
