My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she smelled like a LAN party
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
