Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
