Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
