he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
