My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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