Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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