i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
