if only i could text you this smell
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
