I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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