dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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