Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
