He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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