Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
